then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
