tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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