its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
