They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
And then my night got REAL pukey
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
