Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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