Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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