So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
