Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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