Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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