U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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