Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
