we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
