I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
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