your room smells of hookers.
And success
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
