You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
