I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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