ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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