Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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