so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
