And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i just google imaged poop.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
