hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
