I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I'm having to shit out rocks
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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