I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
