I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
