just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
