a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
