Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
