Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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