its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Randomize
