you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
