hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
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i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
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The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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