My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
