i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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