I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
