he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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