no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
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He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
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My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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