Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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