what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
