I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize