On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
