fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize