Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
