dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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