i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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