i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
