no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
The uberlube is also flammable
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
