i just snorted my name. best moment ever
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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