im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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