We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
