the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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