State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
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He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
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My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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