Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
