it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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