that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
