if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
