there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
