Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
